by Rebecca Conatser
My pregnancy was relatively easy and uncomplicated. I had worked out and kept active the whole time and had minimal discomfort aside from a little morning sickness that would subside once I got some breakfast in my stomach. When people found out that I was continuing to do CrossFit during my pregnancy I would usually get the concerned looks and the worried “well, just be careful” statements. But honestly, I think keeping active and moving is one of the best things you can do during pregnancy, and I had a lot of wonderful coaches watching out to make sure I was adjusting exercises and making substitutions as appropriate. Not to mention, there are numerous physicians that attend my gym and even a few of the OB/GYN doctors that were providing my maternity care (the one who birthed you included!), so I literally could not have been more supervised in any other gym setting. I had been walking around partially dilated since 38 weeks though, and it was unpleasant to say the least; It felt like you were right there sitting on my pelvis most of the time. So that was when I had called it quits and decided to hang up the towel until after you were here.
My due date of Tuesday, October 23rd had come and gone. I had been on maternity leave for about a week already. It was nice to have some time to decompress from the daily grind before your arrival, but I was starting to feel like I was using too much time on leave before you were even here yet. I had hoped to spend that time getting to know each other, bonding, and learning how to be a new parent, so I was hoping things would start to happen soon. My goal was to be able to pull off an all-natural birth and I was worried if you delayed too long that they would start to urge me to consider an induction. In hopes of moving things along in the most pseudo-natural method I could think of, I opted to have them sweep my membranes at my 40-week appointment that Tuesday. This was highly unpleasant and only resulted in cramping and spotting.
Your birth story starts on the morning of Thursday, October 25th, 2018. Grandma Lisa asked me if I wanted to go out for breakfast; I think she was just looking for excuses to get me out of the house and walking at that point in hopes it would trigger labor. Your dad was at work, so it was just the two of us. We had a lovely breakfast at Bob Evans and then she said she had some things to pick up at Walmart, so we went on down the road. I had started to have some light contractions while we were walking around Walmart. They were not painful, but there was definitely periodic tightening happening across the front of my abdomen. I was not totally sure if it was actually happening or if those were real contractions yet but was happy to see something going on and hoped maybe this could finally be it.
Grandma Lisa dropped me off at home and I watched some TV for a bit. I talked to your father a couple times that morning and we decided he would come home around lunch time since I was still having periodic contractions. They were still fairly irregular but were seeming to come about every 5 minutes apart or so. Once Shawn got home, we had some lunch and then decided we would go for a walk along the bike path near the hospital to see if that helped. Our thought process was that if the contractions progressed and got closer that we would go ahead and stop in to get checked out.
As we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital we joked about how this is not what I imagined it would be like going to the hospital when you are giving birth and how it was not like the movies where the woman is screaming and yelling (little did we know there was more to come on this later…). We walked a ways down the road, but the contractions had started to pick up and were between 2-3 minutes apart. They still were not painful but tightened enough that I would slow down or stop walking when they happened. I had tested positive for streptococcus B, so they wanted to be sure to get an IV dose of antibiotics in about 4 hours before delivery and had recommended coming in when contractions were around 2 or 3 minutes apart. So even though they were not really that painful, we thought we ought to go get checked.
I waddled back down the road; having only really made it to about the convo area because of the slow, strolling pace and frequent pauses. Once we got up to the 2nd floor of O’Bleness, they had me change into a gown to get checked out. I was still only about 2cm dilated (which is what I had been since my last appointment on Tuesday). They said they would keep me on the monitor for about an hour or so to watch my contractions and recheck me to see if there was any progress. The contractions kind of fizzled out some while there and I got to feeling a little silly for going in, but they encourage us to go get some rest and said they would not be surprised to see us again within the next couple days for the real thing; it would be a bit sooner than that though.
It was about 5 or 6pm by the time we got out of there and I was starving! We went for some convenience food and ordered a pizza from Papa John’s (which I ended up highly regretting later on). We relaxed and watched some TV. I was still having intermittent contractions and they started to pick up a little bit. They still were not that close together or regular but were becoming a bit more uncomfortable. Around 10pm or so Shawn decided to try to get some sleep in case it was the real deal and I got into the tub to try to relax. The contractions had started to pick up in intensity and I finally got out of the tub and tried to lay down about midnight, but by that point they were pretty painful. I said I thought it was time to go back in and get looked at again and Shawn agreed.
This time we drove to the hospital in the dark and it was a little more like you would imagine in the movies. Not so much the yelling, but heavy breathing and groaning. Looking back this was more of a sign that it was the real deal this go around ha! It was later this time, so we had to get checked in at the ER entrance and then headed back up to the 2nd floor. Again, I got into a gown and hoped on a bed in the triage room to get checked out. This time the nurse said I was 8cm dilated and that we were going to be having a baby today! I panicked a little bit since we still had to call Aunt Jenny to come down from Columbus and let Grandma Lisa know to come in. Your dad called them both and they took us down to our room to get situated.
We later found out that the nurse had jumped the gun on us and I was not, in fact, 8cm dilated. Apparently, I was pretty well effaced, but the cervix had not actually dilated to that point yet and it kind of gave her a false reading. I was closer to 3cm; which was a huge disappointment to say the least after thinking I had made so much progress in those few hours. I continued to labor. Grandma Lisa showed up not long after we called her and Aunt Jenny was down within a couple hours after that. I had started to feel pretty nauseous with each contraction and asked your dad to hand me an emesis bag to keep nearby. Eventually that pizza started to unrelentingly make its way back up. On top of that, it seemed like every time I threw up, I peed myself. I felt awful for the poor nurse having to change out my chux pads so frequently. Labor is for the birds I tell ya (pun intended ha!).
It was probably about 5am by the time I decided I wanted to get in the shower and let some of the hot water roll over me. As I stood in the shower, I started to get a bit scared of the idea of pushing. I was exhausted by this point from being up all night and constantly throwing up. I asked your dad to come in and started to gauge on whether I should opt to get an epidural. Neither he nor family seemed to care one way or the other and said that if it would make me feel more comfortable and I wanted to do it, then go ahead. I let the nurse know and they paged for the on-call anesthetist. That poor lady tried several times and innumerable positions to try to get my epidural in, pausing between my puking sessions, but I guess it just was not her day. I was starting to wonder if something was weird about the shape of my spine or something. She taped out and said that since it was after 6am the morning shift would be there soon and she would call the anesthetist coming on to see if she would be willing to come in a little earlier.
By the time the other anesthetist got there around 6:45am, I was miserable and was still vomiting intractably. They asked the family to step out and as Aunt Jenny went to hug me on her way out of the room, I exclaimed “just go!”; I wanted them to get out as fast as possible so the anesthetist could get the show on the road and set up her sterile field. I felt really bad almost immediately after I did that and hoped she had not taken it personally. I was feeling a bid defeated at this point and did not have high hopes that this lady would be successful either because of what must certainly be an oddly shaped sway back lol. So, after doing some feeling and re-positioning, she had me try Indian style position and she said, “I got it”. I questioned hesitantly, “you think you got it?” and she replied, “I KNOW I got it”. I was comforted that some relief might be coming my way.
They had me lie back and get situated in the bed and were going through their protocols of frequent monitoring and vitals when the anesthetist looked at the monitor. She calmly said, “how about we try having you lie back on our left side and putting some oxygen on”. The nurse then phoned and asked, “can we get some nurses and doctors in room 206?” Within a few seconds the room was full of nurses and residents. Your father, Grandma Lisa, and Aunt Jenny had been on their way back to the room to see if they could come back in at the time and followed the crowd to see what was going on. I guess I was just so relaxed from the medicine that I had not had any concern about these events until I caught eyes with my sister and saw the look on her face. I then processed the last couple moments and realized what had just happened; I was in the middle of a rapid response on myself. Aunt Jenny later told me that my blood pressure had tanked and your heart rate dropped.
Dr. Gerome came in shortly after the crowd and they were bolusing me with fluids and keeping an eye on things. I felt like I had either peed again or had some more mucous discharge and stated so. Dr. Gerome first replied, “you can feel that?”, followed by “well, let’s have a look”. She proceeded to pull out into view the amniotic sac and noted that it was intact. She said, “well at least we know your water is broken now”. I asked if that was common and the resident grinning eagerly at me over her shoulder shook her head no. The drama must have evened out with some fluids, oxygen, and positioning because after several minutes the room cleared out and things settled down. At that point they asked if they could do an internal monitor and I of course without hesitation said yes.
They re-checked me around 7:30 or 8am while putting the internal monitor in place and I was about 8cm by that point, but you were still about -2 positioning and needed to drop down more. I had a new day shift nurse now and she turned the lights down, played some soft lullaby music, and tried to let me rest some and time to labor down a bit. By about 9am I was fully dilated and was ready to start pushing. They straight cathed me once before we started pushing and it was a good thing too, because I darn near filled the whole tray up after all the fluids they dropped into me earlier in the morning.
I had a great epidural and still had a lot of mobility and feeling in my legs. It was just enough to take the edge off, but not enough to leave me paralyzed in bed. I was surprised that the nurse was willing to have me get out of the bed some and try to push on the birthing stool. We were making some really good progress with this method, but my feet could not touch the floor and sitting there on the poles with my legs dangling, they were going totally numb. I knew if I stayed there much longer, I would not be able to help with walking to get back into the bed. I decided it would be best if I got back into bed for a bit to stretch out my legs.
Apparently in doing so, you decided to revert back up inside and turn yourself around. When we started to get situated in bed, the nurse noted that the internal monitor had moved from 10 o’clock to 2 o’clock position and we had lost virtually all the progress we had made from pushing while on the birthing stool. The nurse called Dr. Gerome back to have a look and she said that I had a 2 options: 1) keep going as is and see if I can push her back out in the position that she is now, noting that you may come out easily that way or you may not, or 2) she could try to manually turn you to get you back in a better position and then push more. I was just relieved she was not recommending a C-section as I thought that was going to be her suggestion after everything. I looked at Aunt Jenny and briefly ran through the events of her labor with Willow involving multiple hours of failed pushing leading to a C-section. Willow must have been trying to come out face first and her nose was all squished up like a piggie after she was born; there was no way she was coming out no matter how hard Aunt Jenny had pushed.
I opted to have Dr. Gerome try to turn you into a better position. I felt that if I tried to go as-is it could end unsuccessfully and did not want to end up with a C-section if I could avoid it. I tell you what though, epidural or no epidural that was the most unpleasant and painful thing to have a fetus rotated within your birth canal. I climbed to the back of that bed so fast trying to get away from her ha! But Dr. Gerome is the bomb and she was able to get you back into the right spot. Now I just had to make up for all the progress we had lost and start pushing all over again…I was having a hard time still with feeling well enough to push and I am not sure how effective I was lying in the bed to do so.
They may have dialed back or turned off the epidural, because I was starting to get a bit more feeling and that helped with the feedback of knowing what to do. Pretty soon Dr. Gerome was back in the room in full garb and we were ready to have a baby. You were born at 12:01pm. All in all, I pushed for a total of 3 hours and, including early labor, the whole things lasted for 26 hours. I remember hearing Dr. Gerome say, “reach down and grab your baby”. I panicked slightly and paused not knowing what to do and a little unsure and hesitant to believe that the moment was finally here and that it was all over. Aunt Jenny later said my eyes got so wide in that moment ha! Dr. Gerome repeated it again, “reach down and grab your baby” and I reached my arms down and she placed you on my chest. You wiggled and cried, and I got a good look at your dark hair. Grandma Lisa was half smiling/half crying and snapping pictures like a mad woman, Aunt Jenny was sobbing quietly to herself, and your dad was smiling and I think partially in shock like I was.
They got you cleaned off and Dr. Gerome stitched me up while I used your beautiful face as a distraction from the fact that I was definitely able to feel things down there again. You wormed your way right over to my breast and started to try to feed; I was proud of your strong natural instincts. The nurse called to ask the lactation consultant to come help us with nursing and ordered me a double batch of chicken tenders from the cafeteria. I was STARVING and chicken tenders with honey mustard sounded like just the thing I needed right then.
You tried to nurse for a well over an hour and we eventually had to cut you off so you would try to rest and not wear yourself out too much. Unfortunately, I am not sure how much you were really even able to get from me despite your stoic efforts. We took turns holding you and passing you around then the nurse took you to the warming unit to do all your measurements and finger printing. Eventually I felt like I could get up to go to the bathroom and after that they cleared us to move from the labor and delivery room into a post-natal room.
I was a little disappointed with myself that I was not able to pull off the super-woman, earth-goddess natural birth I had hoped, but I know I was scared, tired, and nervous and did not know what to expect. In the end, you came and you were healthy and unaffected so I tried to take solace in that was what mattered most. I still managed to have my labor progress naturally without the use of Pitocin, so that was a win in my book. I am hoping for the next go around that my body will know the ropes and things might progress a little faster and then I may feel more comfortable trying to do the full natural method. Although next time I will definitely pass on the pizza dinner.
The time in the hospital was hectic and even more draining. By Saturday morning, I noticed it looked like you had a tongue-tie; it was pretty visible when you were crying. On top of that, I was having some nipple pain and, though I did not know it at the time, my breasts were engorged. Nobody told me that that was not normal, and I figured it was just what happens when your milk comes in. Unfortunately, the lactation consultant was not in for the weekend, so we did not see her after the one-time Friday afternoon. I mentioned that I thought she had a tongue-tie to the pediatrician and they agreed she did, but said they do not normally do anything about them unless there is a problem; they made a referral for osteopathic medical manipulation and he said the same thing basically when he came.
I am not sure why they thought that there was not already a problem though. You ended up with jaundice and it caused us to have to put you under the bili light for a day or so and landed us another day’s stay in O’Bleness. You tolerated being under the light surprisingly well for the first half of the treatment. In fact, I think the nurse said she had never seen a baby so relaxed under the light; you were just hanging out, tanning, and sleeping. But eventually your patience ran out. We were trying to supplement the nursing with pumped syringe feedings, and you could not seem to keep it down. You were hungry and cranky and we just wanted to be able to hold you, but we knew the longer we kept you out of the phototherapy the more of a chance we would have to continue to do the treatment for an extended period of time.
We were all relieved when we got the lab results back Monday morning and got the ok to stop the bili therapy. This additional time at the hospital ended up being a positive thing though because the extra day kept us there through Monday and the lactation consultant was back. Michele was the first person to truly acknowledge our feeding issues and noted that you actually had both a tongue and a lip-tie. She gave us some handouts and referral information and I made an appointment with a highly recommended laser specialist that same day.
You were cleared for discharge and we loaded up all our things. It was of course way too much stuff and I had over-packed, but that is pretty typical. We were excited and nervous to be returning home with you. We wanted to get back home to our comfortable bed and our usual surroundings without the frequent interruptions that come with being in the hospital. We were also ready to get started on what felt like would be the real beginning of parenthood; off on our own and nobody down the hall to call if we had a question. It felt a little surreal that they just let people take their babies home without a proficiency test or approval rating or something. I was hoping for reassurance that we did the car seat correctly and got you in safely and everything, but even the car seat check on the way out was just a cursory check that we did indeed have a car seat and not that we had restrained you in it properly (though I assure you, you were- I had just hoped for some confirmation on the matter for my peace of mind).
We drove the short way back home and, though your dad had been out several times to go get food and run errands, it was my first time back in society and I emerged from the hospital a new mom with my beautiful dark-haired baby girl. You ended up being everything I dreamed up in my mind the whole time you were baking in my belly. You have got your father’s hair and eyelashes and your mother’s eyes and lips. You are beautiful, whip-smart, strong, healthy, and all-around way too much like myself at times; but I would not have it any other way. I love you baby bird and I am so lucky to be your mommy.